I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
