Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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