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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
