I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
