You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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