Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize