I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
