I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
