I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
