just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
