I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
