he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
