well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
