I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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