I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
