you have to choose: penises or morals?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
