I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
