I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So much Jack, so little girl.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
