he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
you're hired as official boob wrangler
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
