Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
