Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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