I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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