How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
