none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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