if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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