I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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