The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
