Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
