you have to choose: penises or morals?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
