He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
