Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
