so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
