I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
