Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize