I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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