Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
