Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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