how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
