i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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