dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
