Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Someone shattered a urinal.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
