does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
