No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
My liver just broke up with me...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
