Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Come share oat with me in your robe
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
