The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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