I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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