It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
