who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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