on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
