My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
