i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
