I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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