I have demons in me.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
