This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize