so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
