Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize