I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
