if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
