You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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