Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
