Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
