Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
