hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
