I CAN MOONWALK!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
