And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
