About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
