sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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