he was CRYING into my vagina
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
