That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She bit a glass in half.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm at about main and main street
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
