Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
