I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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