sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she looked like the before picture.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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