im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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